The greatest book that almost killed me

When I was in my early twenties I read Hello to All That: A Memoir of Zoloft, War, and Peace and it gave me hope. Because the main character suffers from depression, but Zoloft saves his life.

The book inspired me to seek professional help. I hoped I could have the same happy ending, the only difference being that I am bipolar, not depressed.

They began to medicate me with little success, but I hoped that I would find my “Zoloft.” They eventually put me on Zoloft with lithium. This was going to be my breakthrough moment, or so I thought.

I had a bad reaction to the Zoloft, stopped sleeping, and eventually attempted suicide. So after some recovery time they changed my meds, again.

Because I was certain this would make me “normal” it was far more heartbreaking than I could have ever prepared for. As always I moved on. But I lost my hope for my saving medication.

For me, the only thing worse than depression, is losing hope for a cure.

Remember to smile,
Hipster Harrison


2 thoughts on “The greatest book that almost killed me

  1. Medication isn’t for everyone, that’s for sure.

    I’ve decided it is the right way to go for ME but it took me forever and ever to find the right meds, the meds that were just right for me.

    I had so many horrible reactions to prescriptions that helped other people and I became very frustrated and gave up a time or two. The whole process of finding just the right medication literally took years.

    I’m not saying meds are right for you. All I’m saying is that I understand your feelings of wanting a “cure,” and your feelings of hopelessness and giving up… because I’ve been there too.

    I’m still not “cured” now that I take a pill that helps me and that’s hard to face up to but over time I’ve gotten to be okay with it.

    You and I have different bodies and different chemical make-ups that fight us in different ways but I just wanted to say that I understand this particular struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

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