One overdose and now I’m a child

This time last year, almost to the day, I tried to overdose on my prescription psych meds. Since then my mother counts my medications daily, literally. And if I seem to “down” she’ll take them from me.

I love my mom, despite our differences, but treating me like a child is infuriating. More importantly, if I wanted to kill myself there are plenty of other options. I’m a grown man who has to ask for his medications, it’s pathetic.

Remember to smile,
Hipster Harrison

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “One overdose and now I’m a child

  1. I’m so sorry. I don’t know you and I don’t know your mom (this is the first post of yours I’ve read so far) so this may be way off base…

    Is your mom perhaps just really scared that you might try overdosing again? I remember my aunt would scream at us kids when we were little and she’d be so angry when we nearly got ourselves hurt, like running into traffic or something. She always calmed down afterwards and it was only a reaction to HER fear over our safety but she sure scared the hell out of us kids when she yelled like that.

    Your mom might not know how else to let her fear for your safety go. She might be too scared to give up control. Can you talk to her about how her actions are making you feel like a child? Will she listen?

    Like I said, I could be way off base and I apologize sincerely if so. I thought it might help telling you about my aunt and how she reacted to fear though. Not the same at all I know but possibly a tiny bit similar in motives. ???

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes, Hipster (I love your name by the way!!!), it’s probably exactly as The Echo Umbrella stated.

    Over three years ago, I overdosed on every med I could get my hands on – as well as a bottle of red wine – with the infuriating (at the time – but glad of it now result) that my doctors took away ALL SLEEPING medications!! You can well imagine what that was like! Prior to last month, when I managed to get a miniscule dose of something to help ‘konk’ me out I had less than 1 1/2 hours sleep at a time for over three year!!. My whole personality changed! I became Mrs. Crabby Appleton and Ms.Short Patience at the same time. I was beside myself with frustration!!!

    I am happy to report that I am now off ALL my MEDS ( but as you may see from my posts, I should “perhaps” be back on something again!! lol!! ( Seriously, I Praise God for a sense of humour – especially when it comes to this “type of sickness” as opposed to a persistent ingrown toenail!! Although, let’s face it, mood disorders can be just as painful – if not more so. And if all else fails, one could actually have one’s big toe chopped off!!)

    I know how having to “ask” for your meds from your mom must feel. It’s humiliating enough in the hospital – having to report to Nurse Nasty and line-up like a bunch of deadbeats from “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” in front of that silly little “dispensing” counter!! Oh, the memories…lol!!!

    Hipster, all I can say is this – “Yes, your mom loves you and she’s probably ‘super scared’ you’ll down the whole lot again if she hands them over to you!!” I think it’s going to take awhile to building that “trust” back – as hokey as that sounds. Maybe you could start with 5 days worth at a time!!??

    And you’re right – there are many other ways you could “do away” with yourself if you so desired but at least – in her eyes – she wouldn’t be responsible!! She cannot protect you from EVERYTHING and she knows that but she’s going to do her VERY BEST to protect you where and when she can. That’s what mom’s do!!!

    Hang in there buddy, you are definitely not alone!!! Maggy 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s